This is a very important message for young people everywhere
(Source: , via unsuspected-humor)
today a kid in my Drama class got detention but he pulled a Monopoly get Out Of Jail free card out of his wallet and my teacher let him out of it
how do you get detention in drama
long story short he kicked the ceiling by accident
how do you kick a ceiling
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen
This is me when I try to seduce someone
what if the voice inside your head is your soulmate’s
well then my soulmate sure is an asshole
All of this was creepy but the last one had me laughing
500 shades of nope.
so you know how a vulcan kiss is like this?
well i was in math class and and this guy and i were trying to high five but we were too far away so we just touched out two fingers together like this^^
and then i sat down and thought about it for a second.
then i went “hey patrick, are you a trekkie?”
and he went “no, but my parents are huge trekkies”
and i went “so you know what’s up?”
and he went “oh, i know what’s up.”
I ship it
in class i’m used to sitting in the back and making all these smartass comments under my breath
now i’m in the front though so when our attractive instructor drops something and says ‘ah, fuck me!’ and i say ‘maybe later’ he hEARS ME AND LAUGHS GODFUCKING FUCK
the saga continues today in physics when our instructor asks ‘and how fast does light travel?’ and i whisper ‘hella’ and the kid next to me fucking loses it
i love freckles theyre skin starsI hated my freckles before this
theres a galaxy written across your skin and u are the shining star of it
when you say that you’re going to bed but then you see a thing you want to reblog
Spanish Teacher: ¿Cómo estás?
Me: Estoy bitchin’